The safety net – Parents

The internet is a natural part of children and young people’s daily lives, and it is up to adults to ensure that children are safe online.

The most important thing is to create an atmosphere where the child feels comfortable talking about and discussing what is happening online.

Here are 10 tips for parents with concrete advice, links to guides and podcasts.

Talk to your child about digital life

If you regularly ask your child about their online experiences, you will create an environment that makes it easier for them to tell you if something has happened. Ask how things have been online tonight just like you ask about school. Ask questions such as “Have you or your friend ever encountered weird adults on the internet?”. Read more in the How to talk about the internet guide .

Talk about rights and responsibilities and go over what is okay to do online. Read more in the Friends guide What is illegal online?

If you have young children – help with choosing a profile picture and username

Be with your children and choose a profile picture and username for the game or app that you, as a parent, think is appropriate and does not reveal your child’s name or address. Help your child create strong and good passwords. The picture can be a picture with the forehead and the favorite cap. It says a lot about who you are as a person. (The Internet Foundation).

Try games and apps yourself

Download and test games and social media platforms your child uses to understand how they work and how people talk in comment boxes or chat functions. Consider how your child might encounter a perpetrator, whether there are any features that encourage contact between players and what the culture is on the platform regarding adding strangers or sharing usernames to other platforms.

Control your reaction and avoid bans

As an adult, you need to take responsibility for your reaction if you find out that your child has been victimized. If you react too strongly, your child may stop telling you. Be patient. Remember that banning specific sites, games and apps rarely helps, and often the opposite is true. Don’t threaten to take away your child’s phone, listen and help secure the digital presence instead.

Tell us about grooming

It can be difficult to start talking about grooming, but it is important. Ask open questions like: “How often do you talk to people online?”, “Do you have any friends you met online?”, “Has anyone made you feel weird or nervous online?”. Explain that there are people online who want to hurt children and who pretend to be friends of the same age.

One tip is for the child to ask the person they are chatting with to send them a picture of them doing something specific, for example holding their right hand on their left earlobe. Also, teach the child never to use the webcam or video call unknown people unless they show themselves first (but: good to keep in mind that such identification methods may become more deceptive as AI models evolve).(The Internet Foundation and Thorn)

Talk about how images can be shared online and about nude images

Pictures are a way for young people to communicate today, so it is good to create awareness and caution early on about what your child shares online. Talk about the importance of thinking before sending intimate pictures. Images can easily spread online and also risk being used for blackmail purposes by groomers. On the “Thorn Parents” page, you can try out what a conversation between you and your child about various online topics might look like.

Also listen to the Internet Foundation’s podcast episode “Our Children Online” on nude and dickpics with sexologist Kalle Norwald.

Warning signs

This page has listed red flags when it comes to messages children may receive online. For example, if someone sends “let’s chat in private” or “are you alone”, “I know a way you can make some quick money” or “send me a picture of your face”. Talk to your children about these questions and explain why they might mean that someone wants to hurt them.

Compare how to behave online and offline

Make use of comparisons between the online and offline world. Like this video for example. What could you say directly to a person on the street? Is it the same thing you write or see in a comment box? Also, talk about how it’s never okay to share someone else’s photos if they haven’t agreed to it.

Ask if the child has received videos or pictures

Almost 1 in 8 children aged 12-19 have had nude pictures sent to them by someone they do not know. Ask if the child has received any videos or pictures that made them feel uncomfortable. Also tell them that it is illegal to send violent or sexual material to children, and if this happens they can report it to the police. Listen to this half-hour podcast on how adults can talk to children about online pornography.

Talk about what the child can do if something goes wrong

Encourage your child to tell you if something suspicious happens. Save screenshots of abusive messages or pictures sent. Here is a good guide with tips.

It could also be that your child has victimized someone else – read more about what is and is not okay online in the police guide.